Friday, June 8, 2012

God and Man at Quahog

Isaac to Abraham, "Just what the f*ck was that about?"

"Lock and load, brides of Christ!"

"Where can you go to take a lifetime solemn spiritual commitment and blow through it in about ten minutes?"

"I love God!  He's so deliciously evil!"

"You know, I rather like this God fellow. He’s very theatrical. A little pestilence here, a plague there... to get me some of that."

"I want to thank God. I want to thank the Lord God because It is really not up to me, it is up to him and I want to thank the devil too because you know that is why God is there. He is minding the fence to make sure that guy never comes back. You know if it weren't for the devil God had probably gone insane blowing he's brains out from boredom. Everybody likes to feel useful. Make a da world go around."

Diane: Also in the news some trouble at Saint Phillips church.
Tom: That's right Diane, a shipment of tainted holy water could put some local babies in jeopardy.
Diane: Sounds dangerous Tom, Be careful next time you're at confession telling the priest about cheating on your wife with that Filipino drag queen.
Tom: Well at least you're in no danger Diane since you only visit church to leave your self delivered, unwashed, half dead newborns on the back step. Coming up how to turn your unwanted change into foldin' money.

And now for some subtle elliptical humor:

 It's Friday. The semester is over. So chill.

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