Happy AMERICAN Labor Day, all you toilers out there!
The only reason us Yanks celebrate the wage-slavers today is so that we won't have to share May Day with all you commie socialists in the rest of the world. We don't have to party with you folks living in socialist gulags like Canada, Britain, Israel, and Denmark.
The only slogans our workers need are "Hey you! Get back to work!" "You're lucky we don't fire you!" "My way or the highway, slacker!" "Everyone pulls their own weight!"
Our workers have everything anyone could possibly want: God, Prosperity Gospel, Chicago School economics, The American Enterprise Institute, Walmart, Creflo Dollar, and Ayn Rand. What more could they want? So swallow those wage cuts, those reduced benefits, those increased workloads, those longer hours, those layoff notices and suck it up for The Man!
Never mind that May Day as the International Day of Labor was an American creation to commemorate the Haymarket Massacre in Chicago in 1886.
Come on all you slackers, gangstas, and hipsters, time to wake up and sing!