"Let All The Poisons That Lurk in the Mud Hatch Out!"

Congratulations to the white supremacists.
 The larger part of the electorate chose loyalty to tribe over loyalty to country. White America voted for war against all who are not white, not Christian, and not straight. ‘E Pluribus Unum’ becomes ‘Go home n*gger!’


Congratulations to the knuckle-draggers.
A walking talking parody of the lowest most impoverished idea of masculinity just won the Presidency. ‘Mate, slay, dominate’ is a conception of male-ness that we share with bands of chimps and schools of fish. There’s not much that’s even human about it, let alone noble. Now a 70 year old boy, who like so many boys of all ages, thinks of women as trophies, concubines, Mommy, and chattel leads the USA. A man who openly fantasizes about sexual assault now leads the nation, including its the female half. Gender equality becomes a baboon’s rape fantasy.


Congratulations to the very very rich.
 A sweet life for them over the past 35 years is about to get even sweeter. They’re getting another massive tax break and a roll back of banking, safety, and environmental regulations. The last vestiges of organized labor (and the right to organize and bargain collectively) will be legislated into extinction. Trump’s adoring working class followers are about to find out that he cares about them about as much as he cares for his wives and mistresses. Trump with the rest of the very rich will take the money and run. Patriotism ends at the bottom line. “Liberty and Justice for All’ becomes ‘I got mine! Fuck you!’


Congratulations to the gun cult.
The Second Amendment will be the last part of the Constitution left standing. When a heavily armed psychopath murdered 20 little kids and 6 adults in an elementary school with a military assault weapon, our first instinct was to protect our guns and our rights to own them. In doing that, we crossed a bright hard line of common sense and decency which we will never walk back across. From now on, random violent death at the hands of a lunatic with a gun is normal. Losing our loved ones (including our children) so suddenly and so pointlessly is the price we are all expected to pay for what some people call “freedom.” In a world full of dangerous minorities, criminals, illegal aliens, voter fraud, welfare cheats, perverts, a world run by ZOG and The Conspiracy, a gun is the white man’s only true friend. His only real fellowship and trust is in Mutual Assured Destruction, even among other white men. Victory and revenge are the only happiness he is allowed. Fear and loneliness are necessary for vigilance and the price of victory. When they get to be too much to bear, there’s always booze and drugs. Peace becomes the silence of the grave.


Congratulations to Vladimir Putin.
 Congratulations on his successful efforts to influence our election. A compromised USA will no longer stand in the way of Russian ambitions in Syria, Ukraine, and elsewhere. The USA under Trump might leave or dissolve the NATO alliance and subordinate its policies to Russian interests. If so, Putin will have triumphed where all of his Soviet predecessors failed. The USA would be neutralized as a world power. The larger part of our electorate apparently is just fine with this. They see Putin as a role model and prefer his brand of lawless nationalist dictatorship over having to share liberty with others and respecting their rights as we would want our own rights to be respected under the rule of law. Putin, like Stalin, Mao Zedong, and Mussolini, is a Strong Leader. We love dictators. They get things done (laws be damned!). They kick Those People’s ass and they make small men feel big. We hate dictators only when it’s our own ass getting kicked, or if they start wars and lose them. As for Liberty, as long as ‘I got mine,‘ everyone else can stay in their chains. ‘Government of the people, by the people, and for the people’ becomes ‘Hail the Leader! Hail Victory!’


Congratulations to the late Osama Bin Laden on so great a victory.
 All of his plans are now fulfilled. A frightened American public eagerly turns against each other and happily sets their own country on fire. The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave is about to become a nation of narcs and suspects. The narcs are eager to spy on the neighbors, rat each other out, and suck up to the nearest authority figure.
 We’ve become the Chicken Hawk Nation where others make the sacrifices and do all of the fighting and dying while we get to talk tough. The World’s Last Best Hope now proudly does to suspects, undesirables, and prisoners of war those very things for which we hanged people at the Nuremberg and Tokyo trials. Those secret torture chambers and CIA prisons intended for foreigners are about to come home to be used on citizens. The Shining City on the Hill is now the world’s largest carceral state making prisoners out of more people than even China or Russia; and it’s about to get even bigger.
That masturbatory fantasy of terrorist and fascist alike is about to be realized; a “Clash of Civilizations” between the West and Islam that can only end badly for everyone. Who needs a policy agenda when you can have revenge? Governing means war abroad and war at home.


Ignorance, arrogance, lying, treachery, and bullying prove to be a winning combination yet again, and set an example for our children.
And now, out of spite and bigotry, we elected some squint-eyed spray-tanned old grifter to be our new discount Führer.


Dylann Roof, all your dreams are coming true!